A Cancel Culture Glossary
Every day, I check my twitter feed, and sure enough, every day, it greets me with another Cancelling. A Cancelling is, generally speaking, any time people on the internet join together to express negative emotions and opinions about someone or something. Many people believe that the purpose of a Cancelling is to Ruin A Life. It might be over an offensive tweet. A movie with a problematic premise. A racist caught on tape. Or in some cases, an actual criminal being exposed for his or her illegal actions. The frequency of these Cancellings have also given rise to the term “Cancel Culture.”
These buzzwords are thrown about so much and used to describe so many different things, they have been reduced to meaningless hyperbole. (File them away with the terms “privilege,” “triggered” and “safe space” - terms used now with such willful misunderstanding, wrapped in layer upon layer of irony, that they have been rendered practically useless.) So when we say “I have been cancelled,” or “Cancel Culture is destroying the world,” what are we actually talking about?
To help bring some clarity for myself in these discussions, I have created a little glossary. You are free to use it as well.
Note: Though many use the term “Cancel Culture” to describe “The Left,” claiming that only one side of the political divide engages in Cancellings, the following glossary applies to all groups and political leanings. Everyone likes to think they would never participate in a Cancelling, but chances are, they already have, many times, on all sides.
Another note: I’ve written this as if you are the one experiencing a Cancelling. I am sure you are lovely and I hope you have not endured one second of negativity today. I’m using the second person for flow, and besides, because the internet has told me in no uncertain all caps that EVERYONE WILL BE CANCELLED IN THIS NEW AGE OF CANCEL CULTURE, we might as well prepare ourselves for the inevitable.
So! You’re in the midst of a Cancellation. Before you use the word “Cancel” or “Cancel Culture” to describe what’s happening to you, ask yourself, what is really going on here? Is the incident better described by one or more of the following terms?
NEGATIVE COMMENT /ˈneɡədiv ˈkäment/: You have received one negative comment online. Even if you’ve also received 22 positive comments, those will dissolve away as the one bad comment takes over and convinces you that this is what the entire world must think of you. In reality, this works out to about .05% hate, and is only based on what you can see. Way more people saw the post and said nothing. And in my experience, people who feel good or neutral about things they see online, quite often say nothing. Typing a negative comment usually requires heightened emotions or a deep brokenness within. Consequently, after reading this single bad thing, you yourself may experience heightened emotions, or even a ripping apart of your entire soul. What you do with this is up to you - and could range from simply ignoring the negative comment to trying to ruin the commenter’s life. Talk to a therapist about next steps.
RATIO-ING /ˈrāSHēˌōING/ : This commonly used term refers to the ratio of replies vs. likes. When the replies far outweigh the likes, it is called a ratio-ing. The wider the gap, the worse the ratio-ing. Does your post have 3 likes, but 7,000 replies? You may have said something ill-informed. Find a few level-headed replies out of the 7,000 to see what you may have gotten wrong.
DUNKIN’ GONUTS /dəNGkIN ɡōnəts/ : This happens when you’ve done something so ridiculously stupid or self-owning that a large number of people having joined together to mock you, or “dunk” on you. Twitter will hum with hundreds of jokes, many of them the same obvious one. You are being woven into memes, new and old. You are like a beach ball bouncing around a concert audience. We are all taking our turn dunking on you, and it is giving us life. Though you may be deeply embarrassed, at least you are providing a lot of people with a fleeting moment of joy on this dismal plane of existence. Often times, Dunkin’ Gonuts are mistaken with “angry mobs.” Make sure you understand the difference - an “angry mob” is usually not very funny.
TRENDER BENDER /‘trendər ˈbendər/: Your name is trending, and it’s not because you’re dead. It’s because you’ve said or done something that people don’t like. This probably means that the misstep was big enough to make a lot of people tweet and get you trending. Of course this also depends on your level of fame. Lena Dunham can trend because of a passing comment in an interview. An unknown, regular citizen usually would not trend unless they have committed a very bad crime, like a mass shooting. Whatever the reason, if your name is trending, it might be time to examine what you’ve done that would stir up so much conversation.
BAD REVIEW /bad rəˈvyo͞o/: An art or cultural critic has written a review of something you made, and in it, they have made at least one negative comment. Maybe it’s glowing overall, but even one nitpick can make a review feel like a hit piece. Of course, it is your prerogative to decide if you care about what critics say, or if you think they bring any value to our society. Keep in mind, though, that if you declare publicly that “Critics are losers who don’t know anything and are just mad they can’t do the great art that I do!”...this also applies to positive reviews of your work.
MURDER /ˈmərdər/: A large group of Bad Reviews is known as a Murder. Please note that, even though it may feel like you are literally being murdered when your work is widely panned, it is not murder and you will continue to be alive.
OUCHIES /ouCHēz/: You are beloved and this is the first time you have received public criticism.
ATTACK OF THE BLOGS [ əˈtak əv T͟Hə bläɡz ]: One or more negative thinkpieces have been written about you, and you read them on a screen. This means it was posted online, and your knee-jerk reaction is to dismiss the writers of these articles as “bloggers.” Be warned, however, that personal blogs don’t really exist anymore, and most thinkpieces you see circulating were written by professionals for major news or entertainment sites, some of which may have existed for hundreds of years. In case you were not aware, back in the mid 2000’s, print media went digital. Of course, there may be a situation in which you are actually reading longform criticism from some random person. Maybe they posted it on an open platform like Medium, or this one, Substack. Maybe the person writing it has no business discussing you, and they suck at writing. One thing is for certain: sharing the article on your social media and mocking it for being a lowly “blog” will probably result in that person becoming a professional writer one day.
LITMUS TEST /ˈlitməs test/: An online discussion has cropped up around something you said or did. In the grand scheme of things, the incident or words in question are insignificant, and you’re baffled as to why it’s becoming this big of a deal. That’s because people are using you as a litmus test in their latest cultural, social, or political war. Those who take your side are in one camp, and those who criticize you are in the other. There is no in-between, and everyone must choose a side.
THE BOOT /T͟Hə bo͞ot/: Public outcry has resulted in you getting fired from your job. This is very close to an actual Life Ruining, as a job can often be one’s entire identity and means for survival. Whether you were fairly terminated or not depends on what prompted the public outcry, the company you work for, and the type of people they want to employ. Likewise, whether this constitutes an actual Life Ruining depends on your occupation, if you were born rich, your savings account, fame levels, the economy, and your actions going forward. Many people who have gotten The Boot have gone on to make millions of dollars and even win awards.
SCARY SHIT /ˈskerē SHit/: In some instances, the lines between online shaming and targeted harassment campaigns are blurred, and can result in Scary Shit. Targeted harassment campaigns involve hate speech, death threats, doxxing, sending SWAT teams to your house, real world intimidation, etc. There is some debate as to whether this behavior is ever justified, particularly when it comes to Neo-Nazis and hate leaders. For the most part, however, there is very little the average person could say or do to warrant this.
PHEW /fyo͞o/: A Phew occurs when you have been accused of a crime (often times of a sexual nature), perhaps getting away with it for years on end. One or more of your victims have come forward. Yes, you have been shamed terribly for this, and you may have suffered career setbacks as a result. But no one has pressed charges and you are out there, walking around free. Phew!
THE BIG CHILL /T͟Hə biɡ CHil/: You’re a celebrity, and you’ve done something bad enough that your famous friends have had to distance themselves from you. This is usually an indication that you did something pretty bad. Some of your well-known pals will stand by your side, and they’ll take heat for it, usually taking the form of a Trender Bender.
COSBY /kôsbē/: A Cosby is when you are finally held accountable for being a serial rapist and you go to prison. Very rare. Fifty+ victims needed to unlock.
CRUCIFIXION /ˌkro͞osəˈfikSHən/: Only use this term when you are referring to someone who has actually been nailed to a cross by an imperial power hoping to assuage an angry mob of people it oppresses. In the vast majority of cases, this person is Jesus of Nazareth. Interestingly, some interpret his teachings and actions as the original subversion of scapegoating (an old timey word for “cancelling”), his life an example of how there could be a better way. For an example, see John 8:1-11.
CANCELLED /ˈkansəld/: Also referred to as a Life Ruining or Crucifixion. Who decides if you are Cancelled? All of social media could be deleted tomorrow (one can dream), and we would still all be here, each the same mess we were the day before. Maybe only you can know if you are, in fact, Cancelled. Indeed, one person’s Cancelling could be another person’s fantasy. What I wouldn’t give to have Oprah Winfrey distance herself from me. Because is it not better to be loved by Oprah Winfrey and lose her, than to not be loved by her at all?
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